2 dreams last night:
i’m at the office at my desk. it is dark outside, stormy even. figures moving past the black windows. i realize the door isnt locked. ding ding, the bell of the door opening. a woman coming in, older, elder, she has a painting with her. clearly needs help, has a question. but i’m tired, and its night and we’re closed. “oh we’re closed ma’am” i tried to get to the door closed. i have to tell her to come back tomorrow. i’m the only one in the office, i’m not dressed or myself. i am nice and she needs my help but i need to turn her away.
party at the trailer, and everyone is playing games. i want to play cards against humanity, but can’t find the box - i found the small black box, an add-on pack, but not the big white box. missing missing missing, can’t find it. people move to the bedroom and all pile on the bed in a circle. don’t they see this is a private space? that’s ok, they’re all people i love. jon is in the circle chatting, and i am running around cleaning up cups and then the back door - there is a knock. i am only in underwear and a button up shirt. my friends, we are all half-naked, because its summer and hot and no one wants to wear clothes. there is a peephole in my door, so i look, and its a lady. someone from the neighborhood association. “one moment!” i yell. i clear up detritus, and put on a bra and pants. my shirt is barely over my head when she opens the door. i use my body to slam it shut. in my dream i am skinnier with male parts and breasts, as always. i tell her i am not dressed, i can tell she is flustered. i open the door, and hope she doesn’t notice the smells of a party. she comes in cheerily to our home, to just do a look-through, make sure everything is up to code. i explain this isn’t the best time, we are having a party (in mid-day?). Of course she tells me she’s surprised it isn’t messier, and is overall impressed by the fact that we do dishes and have furniture (even if it is chewed up by our dog). mostly i am worried we will get in trouble. paranoid. i want her to leave. won’t she leave? why did she come thru the back door? why does she look like every committee member ever, and yet like no one? she’s not my landlady, just someone who tattletales to my landlady. i don’t even know why she’s here. who even does inspections? i live here, and i am not renting this place, just the land. and yet- she is looking at every mis-matched tile and old paint swatch pinned to the walls, wondering why we don’t keep up better. am i stoned? or is she looking at me funny? i want her to leave, and she goes in the bedroom where my friends are. they pour her a drink and she sits on my unkempt bed. i feel sick, and as i am about to throw up, the dog barks.