I AM STILL - in memory of On Kawara

waiting at a traffic light, i check twitter.

i see a tweet from On Kawara (as I do every day).

"I AM STILL ALIVE #art"

i see many retweets, replies and favorites, many replies saying “RIP ON KAWARA”

he died today.

the news hit me like a semi truck.

I checked. I’m still sitting in front of the intersection.

i am still alive.

Kawara’s work was some of my first inspiration to conceptual and time-based work. His work chronicled each day he lived - and now there is no one telling me each day he is still alive.

i cried more than i would have expected to cry at the news of someone’s death - someone i had never even met.

but there was a bond of artistry and time-keeping. his work spoke to me profoundly, it was what kept me making, it reminded me that I was still alive.

now?

i am merely still.

rejected artist statements

this was going to be a description for some of my work on my website, but I can’t be that much of a smart ass…

a log of the hair is kept with amounts of hair in varying sanitary containers and very scientifically accurate labels. it is a very scientific thing. such science is lost on the deaf ears of artists and their kin, so we will not detail those very convoluted terms here.

huh.

so, i have kind of a big announcement. after a long time of on and off vegetarianism, I have decided to sometimes eat meat again. This has been a hard decision, as it conflicts with my personal ethical beliefs and religious precepts. I am trying to be a better person in other areas: good thoughts, right actions, less alcohol, etc. etc. With many life stresses, I have suffered horrible anemia and protein deficient problems as of late  (nosebleeds, migraines, hair loss, fatigue, muscle loss). I need to be in the best condition mentally and physically and right now, maybe not in the future, but right now, I need meat to survive healthily. I still love tofu and tempeh. I still opt for vegetables. but sometimes i need the protein and not the carbs that most veggie options seem to be. that said - i’m sorry. i feel like i’m failing myself and others (especially my mother), but right now i need what i need and that’s health and life. it feels awful. i hope you can be supportive of me. i feel stupid for doing it, but sometimes we don’t always feel like we have a choice.

2 dreams

2 dreams last night:

1-
i’m at the office at my desk. it is dark outside, stormy even. figures moving past the black windows. i realize the door isnt locked. ding ding, the bell of the door opening. a woman coming in, older, elder, she has a painting with her. clearly needs help, has a question. but i’m tired, and its night and we’re closed. “oh we’re closed ma’am” i tried to get to the door closed. i have to tell her to come back tomorrow. i’m the only one in the office, i’m not dressed or myself. i am nice and she needs my help but i need to turn her away.

2-
party at the trailer, and everyone is playing games. i want to play cards against humanity, but can’t find the box - i found the small black box, an add-on pack, but not the big white box. missing missing missing, can’t find it. people move to the bedroom and all pile on the bed in a circle. don’t they see this is a private space? that’s ok, they’re all people i love. jon is in the circle chatting, and i am running around cleaning up cups and then the back door - there is a knock. i am only in underwear and a button up shirt. my friends, we are all half-naked, because its summer and hot and no one wants to wear clothes. there is a peephole in my door, so i look, and its a lady. someone from the neighborhood association. “one moment!” i yell. i clear up detritus, and put on a bra and pants. my shirt is barely over my head when she opens the door. i use my body to slam it shut. in my dream i am skinnier with male parts and breasts, as always. i tell her i am not dressed, i can tell she is flustered. i open the door, and hope she doesn’t notice the smells of a party. she comes in cheerily to our home, to just do a look-through, make sure everything is up to code. i explain this isn’t the best time, we are having a party (in mid-day?). Of course she tells me she’s surprised it isn’t messier, and is overall impressed by the fact that we do dishes and have furniture (even if it is chewed up by our dog). mostly i am worried we will get in trouble. paranoid. i want her to leave. won’t she leave? why did she come thru the back door? why does she look like every committee member ever, and yet like no one? she’s not my landlady, just someone who tattletales to my landlady. i don’t even know why she’s here. who even does inspections? i live here, and i am not renting this place, just the land. and yet- she is looking at every mis-matched tile and old paint swatch pinned to the walls, wondering why we don’t keep up better. am i stoned? or is she looking at me funny? i want her to leave, and she goes in the bedroom where my friends are. they pour her a drink and she sits on my unkempt bed. i feel sick, and as i am about to throw up, the dog barks.

Tags: dreams

Tonight remember the miracles that sustained our ancestors in those days.
Tonight remember for the beginning is always
tonight remember benign thoughts of complacency
tonight remember you, who has the power to love
tonight remember the love which has the power to transform
you think its just paint on a leash
you think its just waiting for a change
you think its just simple and ignorant
you think you can’t change because power is external
proof of what is to go to a high standard
proof of what power is will transform the

Surprised we have societal and cultural ideas about art

MAPPING CHANGE: Artists Look at 20 Years of MAPS

Organized by the Urban Land Institute of Oklahoma, this project, my biggest-to-date solo curatorial project in Oklahoma, explores the impact of the voter-funded Metropolitan Area Projects and the impact of change in culture and environment through art.

I chose 6 artists: Tommy Ball, Grace Grothaus, Richard McKown, Hugh Meade, Todd Stewart and Kristen Vails. Each took a different approach towards MAPS, and the produced work varied from paintings and sculptures to interactive installations.

I am so grateful I got to do this project, and work with such amazing artists. The opening was amazing; Mayor Cornett came and talked about the importance of artists. It was a great great experience.

This project forced me to be independent, and I quickly learned problem solving skills with an exhibition. I wrote my first press release, created my first press-ready art work, wrote a curator statement, hung and lit a show and acted as liaison for an organization and artists. It was a great experience, and I’m looking forward to the debut of my next curatorial project Threshold: a promised land, curated with heather ahtone in coordination with the Norman Arts Council’s StART Program, April 11.

MAPPING CHANGE is up at Individual Artists of Oklahoma’s Project Gallery in OKC until March 15th. 

in our household, the buttocks is referred to as a “momo” in honor of the corgi momo, as its a hot topic of conversation (how could it not be?) as I’vye been in and out of the hopsital and doctors offices for problems with my momo (what was first thought to be a broken tailbone was a massive staph infection that had me sick), we’ve decided, mo’ momo, mo’ problems. here’s some georgie momo as a consolation

Finished my series “pick your poison”: “act”, “habit”, “best”, and “cope”. Four works in an edition of 3. Letterpress and Screenprint on found objects. 2014

Finished my series “pick your poison”: “act”, “habit”, “best”, and “cope”. Four works in an edition of 3. Letterpress and Screenprint on found objects. 2014

Pick Your Poison - print series in progress

Pick Your Poison is my new print series, a combination of serigraph prints with letterpress text discussing coping mechanisms in a humorous manner.

Here is the process: from sketchbook, to matrices, to prints in their current state.

Once finished the prints will be affixed to glass bottles, like labels for different beverages.